Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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