Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
