It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
