I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
BRING THE BAGELS
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
