he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
