Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
