I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
love makes seman taste better
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
