I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
