There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
