No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
