I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
