Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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