I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
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ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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