He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
