Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
