...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barsexuality is the new black.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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