yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
