Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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