for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The air was thick with penises
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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