Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize