I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I think your dad took our porno
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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