Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
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the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
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We need a shit load of segways right now
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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