She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
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