sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
