oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
