I love black thongs
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
