guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
