You smell like a Billy Joel song
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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