Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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