i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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