sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
