We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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