make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Dear god my vagina.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
