she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
