And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
