Your favorite bartender is back from prision
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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