You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
