girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
