john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
