She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
and she was petting her beer can
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Randomize
