Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
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