What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize