Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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