remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
