My nipple is on Facebook.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
