She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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