he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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