I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm bleeding and have questions
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
