It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
