Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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