clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
