This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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