I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
