i'm signing you up for texting rehab
kristin has been a bad kristin
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
