She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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