So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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