I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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