Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
