ADVERTISEMENT

• (208): View more from Idaho

  weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake

  Fav 12 896 1724

  share tweet
  

• (856): View more from New Jersey

  its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.

  Fav 45 4866 1396

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (347): View more from New York

  last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake

  Fav 4 3501 1015

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...

  Fav 13 3593 1472

  share tweet
  

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...

  Fav 10 4234 1443

  share tweet
  

• (314): View more from Missouri

  I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.

  Fav 9 2279 993

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (816): View more from Missouri

  I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.

  Fav 3 1905 745

  share tweet
  

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly

  Fav 2 991 701

  share tweet
  

• (213): View more from California

  And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at

  Fav 5 2018 780

  share tweet
  

• (469): View more from Texas

  He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...

  Fav 6 1814 1065

  share tweet
  

• (903): View more from Texas

  We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.

  Fav 1 1466 697

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky

  Fav 1 727 602

  share tweet
  

• (360): View more from Washington

  The Vicodin is in the strawberries.

  Fav 0 346 178

  share tweet
  

• (818): View more from California

  I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!

  Fav 0 33 15

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (519): View more from Ontario

  I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE

  Fav 0 18 33

  share tweet
  

Randomize