Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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