Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
