I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
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Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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