i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize