Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
